Elderly Couple

An elderly couple had been dating for some time and decided it was finally time to marry.

Before the wedding they embarked on a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work.

They discussed finances, living arrangements and so on.

Finally, the old man decided it was time to broach the subject of their connubial relationship, "How do you feel about sex?" he asked, rather hopefully.

"Oh, I like to have it infrequently," she responded.

The old guy thought for a moment, then asked, "Was that one word or two?"

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The Lecture

One night a man - who was in no shape to drive - wisely left his car parked and walked home. As he was walking unsteadily along the road, he was stopped by a policeman.
"What are you doing out here at 2 A.M.?" said the officer.
"I'm going to a lecture." the man said.
"And just who is going to give a lecture at this hour?" the cop asked.
"My wife." said the man.

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