Cure For Farting

A fellow goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, I have this problem that I am always farting all of the time. Although they don't smell, they do make loud noises, and it is affecting my social life."

The doctor gives him some pills, and asks him to return next week.

He returns, and says, "Those pills did no good. In fact they made things worse. I still fart as much, but now they smell terrible."

To which the doctor replies, "Good! Now that we have your nose working again, lets work on your farting"

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The Lecture

One night a man - who was in no shape to drive - wisely left his car parked and walked home. As he was walking unsteadily along the road, he was stopped by a policeman.
"What are you doing out here at 2 A.M.?" said the officer.
"I'm going to a lecture." the man said.
"And just who is going to give a lecture at this hour?" the cop asked.
"My wife." said the man.

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