Redneck Pick-Up Lines

 

1) Did you fart, cause you blew me away.

2) Are your parents retarded, 'cause you sure are special.

3) My Love for you is like diarrhea .. I can't hold it in.

4) Do you have a library card, 'cause I'd like to sign you out.

5) Is there a mirror in your pants? Because I can see myself in them.

6) If you and I were Squirrels, I'd store my nuts in your hole.

7) You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.

8) Man - "Fat Penguin!"
Woman - "WHAT?"
Man - "I just wanted to say something that would break the ice."

9) I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your bed-rock.

10) I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.

11) Your eyes are as blue as window cleaner.

12) If you're going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep until the afternoon.

13) Your face reminds me of a wrench, every time I think of it my nuts tighten up.

Click here to send this page to a friend!

Subcribe to my FREE mailing list to receive notices of new jokes and updates via email!

BONUS: Joke Of The Week!

The Lecture

One night a man - who was in no shape to drive - wisely left his car parked and walked home. As he was walking unsteadily along the road, he was stopped by a policeman.
"What are you doing out here at 2 A.M.?" said the officer.
"I'm going to a lecture." the man said.
"And just who is going to give a lecture at this hour?" the cop asked.
"My wife." said the man.

If you've enjoyed this site, please click on any of the banners below to show support.

Home | Disclaimer | Unsubscribe | Contact Us | Privacy